Thank you.

So we're having dinner, homemade macaroni and cheese, green beans and tomatoes. Morgan is working on her third plate and her body has already begun breaking down the meal into usable sugars. It shows, she's bouncing all over the place.

So much in fact that she bounces and makes her self fart.

Helen gives Morgan a stern look and says "Morgan! What do you say!?"

Morgan's reply?

"You're welcome"

Okay... now I'm done.

My co-worker left early so I can talk smack about her now.

Some of you might remember one of my first posts "The Whistler" from December 2005. Well, I'm going to add another to my list of work place annoyances.

The Whiner.

The fact that this too begins with a "W" is pure coincedence.

When I first started at iArchives, I worked with a cool, laid back filmography student. We had similar intrests, music, poker, movies. And we were guys so... farting, burping and the like were acceptable. Now, there were limits but if it happened occasionally... whatever.

Well, his class load exploded as he went from 6 credits to 16 and had to quit to focus on school. So they hired a new person. And it's a woman. No problem, I can deal with that. Farting, burping and any other disgusting traits have ceased, which has made work more enjoyable in that aspect. But... she's a whiner.

What might she whine about? Oh... everything... but mostly, it's work. Anytime she has to do something or things aren't as easy as she'd like them to be... here comes the whine.

And it's the same thing, every day.

You can pretty much bet that if she's talking, she's whining.

Not to mention that she has ZERO common sense. She'll do things (usually incorrectly) then ask me if that was the right way to do it?

No!

How about asking me before you mess things up?!

Of course at first I was helpful. I wanted to show her the ropes but now. I only watch for huge, gigantic, monumental, diasterous mistakes (they happen weekly). Otherwise I'd never get any work done.

So at work now, I hardly talk. I do homework, read, occasionally play poker and if she has issues, email our boss. He'll tell you how to fix it. And he's tired of cleaning up after her.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't hate her, I'd just appreciate it, if she'd stop whining and screwing up.

But I'm sure none of you have ever been in this situation.

Did you know?

That you can check to see if I've made any recent posts without having to remember to come to the blog?

If you use MSN, Yahoo! or Google as your home page, you can customize them to include everything from recent news, comics, blogs, dictionaries, calculators, just about anything on the web really.

So, for those of you that do use MSN, Yahoo! or Google, here's a quick how to.

MSN
Step 1. Log in
Step 2. Click on My MSN, if you don't know where that's at:
Step 2a. Click and hold the Ctrl key
Step 2b. While holding the Ctrl key press the "F" key
Step 2c. Then type My MSN.
Step 2d. Hit enter, this will highlight it for you
Step 2e. Click it!
Step 3. Near the top it will say "Add Content", if you don't know where that's at, follow steps 2a - 2e, only changing "My MSN" to "Add Content"
Step 4. Copy and Paste this http://cosmicjello.blogspot.com/atom.xml into the search bar.
Step 4a. Highlight "http://cosmicjello.blogspot.com/atom.xml"
Step 4b. Chick and hold the Ctrl key
Step 4c. While holding the Ctrl key, press the "C" key
Step 4d. Click into the Search field in the My MSN Change Content Page
Step 4e. Press and hold the Ctrl key
Step 4f. While holding the Ctrl key, press the "V" key.
Step 5. Click the green box with the white arrow in it.
Step 6. Click the check box to the left of "A Little bit of this, a little bit of that."
Step 7. Click "OK"

Google
Step 1. Sign in
Step 2. Click on "Personalized Home" in the top right corner
Step 3. Click on "Add more to this page" in the top left corner
Step 4. Click on "Add by URL", that's just to the right of the search button
Step 5. Copy and paste this into the field: http://cosmicjello.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Step 5a. If you need help copying and pasting, read steps 2a-2e in the MSN section
Step 6. Click "Add"
Step 7. Click "Back to homepage" in the top left corner

Yahoo!
Step 1. Sign in
Step 2. Click on "Add Content"
Step 3. Click on "Add RSS by URL", that's located just to the right of the "Find" button
Step 4. Copy and paste this into the box: http://cosmicjello.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Step 5. Click "Add"
Step 6. Click "Add To My Yahoo!"

Yahoo! even has a feature where they will notify you by email, IM or call you every time there's an update.

Oh yeah, one last thing. To make one of these or any page your homepage (the page that opens first when you open your browser) click on "Tools" at the top. Then Click options. To make this your homepage, click "Use Current".

There you have it. I'm done.

Trouble in Paradise.

Many of us have been or want to go to Hawaii. I was lucky enough to go on a high school band trip. It was beautiful. Green and lush, blue ocean and sandy beaches. Then we saw on the news that it was hit by a 6.6 earthquake. Being the guy that I am, I made some snide remark. Fitting I thought.

Then late in the evening, (after 9, that's late to us! Shut up!). We get a phone call. The first things out of our mouths are, "Who the heck is calling at this time of night?".

It's my mom. Odd that she'd be calling at this time of night, she starts by asking about the kids... they're fine, sleeping... you got them a nickelodeon subscription, great they'll love that... etc... etc. Then she says, "Well, you know your sister is in Hawaii."

Actually, no.

Living two states away limits my knowledge on my sister's travel plans. Apparently, her boyfriend took her to a 9 day stay to Hawaii.

Awesome... how romantic. Unless there happens to be a 6.6 earthquake on the island they're on.

The last report she got out was that they're fine but without power. People aren't sure what exactly is going on, as communication has been difficult without power. She has a cell phone... which is good but it doesn't do you any good when you have no power to charge it!

So, to wrap things up. She's fine, thus far. I have confidence in my sister, she's very head strong, level headed (mostly) and being a native of California, she eats 6.6 earthquakes for breakfast.

P.S. As a traveling tip, take a car cell phone charger with you. You never know if you'll be out of juice!

Remeber Biff from Back to the Future?

Well, he does stand up!